RED SONJA

Red Sonja is a mid-eighties sword-and-sorcery flick that stars Brigitte Nielsen and Arnold "I Impregnated My Homely Housemaid!" Schwarzenegger. Nowadays Brigitte Nielsen is primarily known as a bat-crap crazy "reality" TV star, but, believe it not, she was once a bonafide actress (or at least she tried to be!). This was her first and, if I'm not mistaken, her last starring movie role as a Xena-type sword-wielding warrior who . . . well, who cares, right? Really, the ONLY reason to watch this flick, which was universally panned by both critics and audiences alike (the film didn't even recoup half of its production costs at the box office, if THAT should tell you something!), is if you're into watching Amazonian-type women in rather scantily-clad period costumes wielding huge swords (and I'm sure there's a sexual innuendo in there somewhere!). Frankly, I think she only got this role (and, of course, others) because she just happened to be married to Sylvester "Living Bobo Doll" Stallone at the time back when he (and let's not forget Ah-nold!) was still considered a bankable actor. To add insult to injury, this film won Brigitte her only, uh-hum, acting award--again, if I'm not mistaken--for Worst New Star and was, uh-hum, nominated for Worst Actress at the notorious Golden Raspberry Awards, better known as the Razzies (and also known as "the only awards that really matter"), back in 1985. Hell, even Ah-nold called this flick the "worst" film he's ever made (and, coming from Ah-nold who I less-than-affectionately refer to as The Foreign John Wayne, that's really saying at lot!)!