CYRUS: MIND OF A SERIAL KILLER

Cyrus: Mind Of A Serial Killer is a rather unique horror film about a serial killer named--you guessed it!---Cyrus who's known as "The County Line Cannibal." A Geraldo Rivera-esque reporter--played by noted horror film actress Danielle Harris (who actually resembles actress Jennifer Love Hewitt who herself is an alumnus of horror flicks)--wants to do a story on Cyrus, so she along with her cameraman travel to the small town where Cyrus lived to talk to his rather weird friend--played by Lance Henriksen (of Aliens fame)--where he agrees to talk with her on the condition that she not air any of the footage. Of course, she agrees to his terms--even though she, of course, plans to air the footage anyway--and he starts recounting the life & gruesome times of Cyrus The Country Line Cannibal. As he's talking, it shows a series of flashbacks of how Cyrus came to be a serial killer--he had an abusive mother as well as a non-supportive, cheating wife--as well as his brutal killing spree. The first time Cyrus kills is when he comes home to find his wife having sex with another man and he not only kills both of them but he kills their infant son as well. From there, he goes on to kill several women and men. Even more disturbing he grinds up their innards into meat patties and sausages and stuff and sells them as "roadkill" to the unsuspecting townsfolk (ala the "classic" horror flick Motel Hell). Interspersed with the flashbacks are a number of "interviews" with serial killer/mass murderer "experts" on what makes these psychos tick. Anyway, the movie at times plays out like a typical episode of the TV show Criminal Minds, only gorier. Plus the fact that one can pretty much see the ending coming from a mile away in that one can tell early on that Lance's character is either Cyrus himself or he is somehow in cahoots with Cyrus (I'll just let you watch the movie for yourself to see which one he actually is, all right?), especially when Danielle's character tells him something like, "I'll bet my life on it!" Anyway, in spite of its obvious flaws (like, for instance, law enforcement doesn't seem to be looking too hard for Cyrus), it's still a pretty interesting little film and is not like your "standard" serial killer/horror flick fare (if you can stomach watching it, that is). A sidenote: This film was reportedly "inspired" by serial killers such as Henry Lee Lucas who is considered to be America's most prolific serial killer who had confessed to committing over 200 killings and Fritz Haarman who was known as "The Butcher Of Hanover" and "The Vampire Of Hanover" who was a German serial killer believed to have been responsible for the brutal murders of over 20 young boys and men. Ain't humanity grand! 

JOE'S APARTMENT

Joe's Apartment is a 1996 film based on a 1992 short film of the same name that was regularly shown on MTV. Both the film and the short is about a schlub who lives in a cramped dingy apartment with a bunch of talking--and singing!--cockroaches. Yes, you heard THAT right! The film stars--of course!--Jerry O'Connell as schlub Joe. (I don't recall who starred in the 1992 short film, though it wasn't Jerry.) The film was the first flick put out by--of course!--MTV (back when they were STILL playing music videos, by the way). While the film wasn't a box office hit (go figure!), it has since gone on to become a sort of cult classic (again, go figure!). For those who haven't had the, uh-hum, pleasure of seeing this particular flick yet, if you, uh-hum, enjoy spending 90 minutes watching a bunch of talking--and singing!--cockroaches and/or watching Jerry O'Connell do things like literally pick up shit (which, of course, could very well be the PERFECT metaphor for his "acting" career!), then Joe's Apartment might--and I say MIGHT!--very well be the PERFECT flick for you! A sidenote: This blog's namesake the late Roger Ebert, for those who are interested, wrote in his review of Joe's Apartment: "Joe's Apartment would be a very bad comedy even without the roaches, but it would not be a disgusting one. No, wait: I take that back. Even without the roaches, we would still have the subplot involving the pink disinfectant urinal cakes." Oh yeah, did I also mention there was a sort of "subplot" in the film about pink urinal cakes?

Here's the MTV film short of Joe's Apartment (which, in my view, was far more "entertaining" then the film): 

And, while we're at it, here's one of the, um, musical numbers in the movie version of Joe's Apartment (my apologies in advance!):

ELEPHANT WHITE

Elephant White is a rather unique--some, of course, might even say weird--2011 action film starring Djimon Hounsou (of Amistad, Blood Diamond and Gladiator fame) and Kevin Bacon (yes, THAT Kevin Bacon!). In the film, Hounsou plays a hit man named Curtie Church who is hired to take out sex traffickers in Thailand. The man who "hired" him claims his daughter was murdered by said sex traffickers (of course, we learn later on that he has ulterior motives for wanting them dead, which I, of course, won't reveal here). Church enlists the aid of a former rather shady associate of his named Jimmy the Brit--played by Kevin Bacon (who has a rather questionable British accent)--who supplies him with the weaponry he needs to carry out the job. Along with way, Church reluctantly takes up with a teenaged prostitute named Mae who decides to help him out with his mission. Elephant White has a bit more plot to it than your average action film, though the movie has enough action in it to satisfy the most hardcore action fan in spite of the film's rather dark subject matter. However, the movie does take a 180 degree turn towards the end when the plot kind of takes on a supernatural bent (which, again, I won't reveal here). Djimon Hounsou actually makes a pretty decent kick-ass action star. In fact, I'd go as far as saying that he's at least on par with the likes of Matt Damon (oh, am I bound to catch some heat for THAT one!). At least I'd say he's better than, say, Steven Seagal, especially Seagal in his later years (again, I know I'm bound to get some flak for saying THAT!). If you're on the lookout for a "different" type of action film to watch other than your wang-bang "typical" action fare (and, yes, I'm looking at YOU, Seagal!), then you might want to give Elephant White a try (though you HAVE been warned about the rather dark subject matter). 

I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE (The Remake)

I Spit On Your Grave is the 2010 remake of the 1978 "cult classic" film about a woman who gets viciously gang-raped--repeatedly--and seeks brutal revenge against her attackers. The remake is pretty much the same plot-wise as the original--of which I've also reviewed on this blog--as it centers on a young woman who rents a cabin out in the woods and ends up getting brutally beaten and raped by a gang of sadistic backwoods thugs, including a "mentally-challenged" one. What separates the remake from the original is that, in the remake, a redneck cop gets "involved" on the rape and then later "encourages" the others to burn her car and get rid of all the evidence, including footage of the rape shot by one of the rapists on his video camera after they erroneously believe the woman is dead. However, unbeknownst to them, the woman survives and begins stalking her rapists. She then begins dispatching them one-by-one in the most brutal ways imaginable (like, for instance, as in the original, the woman slices off one of the rapists's, shall we say, appendages--in the remake, it's with a pair of garden shears--and lets him bleed to death while he's hanging from the ceiling). Another way the remake is "different" from the original is that the woman actually kidnaps the sheriff's young daughter towards the end of the film and it's never revealed what happened to her, which made me feel a little less sympathetic towards her character. In any case, the remake is every bit as brutal and uncompromising as the original, perhaps even more so, especially how the woman gets her revenge on her attackers (and, of course, you'll have to watch the film to see what I'm talking about, if you handle it, that is!). So is I Spit On Your Grave a "better" film than the original? I would say it seems more professionally-made than the original. As for whether or not it's a "good" film, as I stated about the original, I can't say whether or not it is a "good" film, at least for myself. It is one of the most brutally savage films, along with the original, that I've ever seen. I can also safely say it's most definitely a film you WON'T soon forget! (I, for one, found the "fish torture" scene rather, shall we say, unique!) A sidenote: This blog's namesake the late Roger Ebert thoroughly trashed this film the same as he did the original, calling it a, and I quote, "despicable remake of the despicable 1978 film." Come on, Roger, tell us how you REALLY feel!

Here's the trailer for the remake of I Spit On Your Grave (you've been warned!):