AN ODE TO MILLA JOVOVICH IN THE "RESIDENT EVIL" FLICKS

 

Milla Jovovich has starred in the popular film franchise Resident Evil based on the popular video game. In the RE flicks, Milla Jovovich plays Alice, a genetically-engineered assassin created by the sinister Umbrella corporation that pretty much runs everything (sort of like Rupert Murdoch!). Alice decides to turn rogue and devotes her existence to the destruction of Umbrella. The flicks are pretty much all the same: They start out with Alice waking up in some Umbrella facility--usually with barely any clothing!--where she promptly escapes where she travels around and recruits others to her anti-Umbrella cause. The flicks generally end with Alice engaging in some sort of climatic battle with some Umbrella agent and/or some murderous mutant creature created by Umbrella (while dressed in skintight clothing, no less!). And her companions either disappear or get killed off outright setting up for the next RE flick where the pattern starts all over again. Of course, the best thing about these flicks is Milla Jovovich who, without her, these flicks would more than likely be reduced to B-movie-esque tripe. The best RE flick is arguably the very first one, which, if you'll recall, I previously reviewed. Overall, the RE flicks are passable enough action flicks even if, as I've pointed out, they kind of blend into each other. But, again, the main reason to watch these flicks is to watch Milla Jovovich kick ass AND take names (while dressed in skintight clothing and sometimes less, no less!), which, as anyone who's a fan of these flicks can easily attest to, she does QUITE well! 

THE WARRIORS

The Warriors is a controversial "cult" film from the late-seventies. The film is about a New York street gang called--you guessed it!--The Warriors who is wrongly accused of shooting and killing a powerful gang leader named Cyrus during a meeting of all the most powerful New York gangs where Cyrus calls for a truce and for all gangs to band together to take over the city. The Warriors attempt to make it to their homebase of Coney Island while they're being pursued by both the cops and rival gangs, including the ones who actually shot Cyrus called The Rogues. One thing that got to me about this flick is how The Warriors looked more like models from a Abercrombie & Fitch catalog than a rough-and-tumble New York street gang from the seventies--or any decade, for that matter--while the other gangs, at least to me, look more comical than threatening. (I mean, a gang of bat-wielding thugs in baseball jerseys with painted faces ala Kiss and a gang of overall-wearing redneck-looking thugs riding around on skates? Come on!) Anyway, the film drew controversy when it was released not only for its level of violence--which, I must say, is more realistic and less choreographed-looking than other "action" flicks I've seen--but also for a number of incidents of violence, including a few killings, that were linked to the film at various movie theaters. As a result, some theaters withdrew showing the picture while others added extra security personnel paid for by the studio. But, in spite of the film's controversy (or maybe even because of it), The Warriors has gone on to become a cult classic and has even spawned at least a couple of video games and even a toy-line. The film has also spawned some rather iconic moments, including the radio DJ who helps put out a hit on The Warriors and whose lips is about the only part of her that is shown during her scenes and during the climatic scene when The Warriors--spoiler alert!--finally reach their beloved Coney Island when the leader of The Rogues creepily clinks the beer bottles together while chanting, "Warriors! Come out and playay!" Overall, if you can get over the movie's aforementioned flaws (at least to me), The Warriors is a pretty decent--and pretty unique--action flick. Can you dig it! (Sorry, I just had to say that!) Best line in the film: "I'll shove that bat up your ass and turn you into a popsicle!" Second best line in the film: "The chicks are packed! The chicks are packed!" A sidenote: Roger Hill, who played the short--but, of course, memorable--role of the doomed Cyrus passed away in February of 2014. Here's a clip (from YouTube) of his short--but, again, memorable--scene in the opening of The Warriors:

THE FOG

 

The Fog is a 2005 remake of the 1980 John Carpenter (of Halloween fame) film starring Tom Welling (of TV's Smallville fame) and Selma Blair (of Hellboy fame). The movie is a rather low-key horror flick set in a seaside town whose inhabitants are attacked by a mysterious fog that literally rolls into town one night. The fog contains the ghosts of murdered victims the town's "founders"--whom the town is celebrating--killed over 100 years before in a vicious double-cross. The ghosts seek to exact bloody revenge on the descendants of the so-called founders and they start killing them off one-by-one. The movie is not as gory as the usual "slasher" horror flicks that one typically sees nowadays. And, though it does start off rather slow (hence it being rather low-key), it does manage a few scary moments. Although critics weren't all that kind to this film when it was released, The Fog might be a welcome change for those who are rather tired of the typical "slasher" horror flick and are looking for a horror flick that has a bit more story to it. As for how the remake compares to the original, since I haven't seen the original John Carpenter film yet, I can't rightfully compare the two (but, when I do finally see it, you'll be the first to know, OK?).

THE MECHANIC

  

The Mechanic is a remake of the 1972 cult classic starring the late Charles Bronson and Jan-Michael Vincent. The flick stars action star Jason Statham in the Bronson role as a hit man called a "mechanic" who is forced to kill his wheelchair-bound elderly mentor (played by Donald Sutherland). After the hit, Statham's character takes his murdered mentor's hotheaded son--played by Ben Foster in the Vincent role--under his wing to teach him how to be a "mechanic" just like him and his late father. When they learn how Foster's character's father was set up, they both go after the higher-ups that had him set up. Unlike some of Statham's other movies (like, for instance, the earlier-reviewed The Transporter), this isn't what one would call a hardcore martial arts film, though there is a couple of fight scenes with Statham. The ending kind of resembles the ending of the original Mechanic, though there is a slight twist (and, of course, you'll just have to watch the flick to know what "twist" I'm referring to, OK?). So is the remake better than the original (and vice versa?)? While I have my opinion on the matter (I'll give a hint: I'm a huge Charles Bronson fan), you'll just have to make that call for yourselves, OK?  

THE CRYING GAME

 

Spoiler alert: The chick's a dude! And, yes, we get to see he/she's, er, talent in the flick! Definitely NOT a flick for the homophobic redneck/Westboro Baptist crowd, if you know what I mean (and I'm, of course, sure that you do!)!

THE LOSERS

 

The Losers is the film adaptation of the "graphic novel"--which is just a fancy way of saying comic book--of the same name by Andy Diggle and Jock (yes, that's what he calls himself!). The plot of the flick follows similar plots of films like The Expendables and The A-Team: an elite black-ops team gets set up by one of their higher-ups for a crime they didn't commit and they set out to clear their name. This film stars some actors whom I've never heard of before save for Jason Patric (of The Lost Boys and--gag!--Speed 2 fame) and the "uber" hot Zoe Saldana (who, of course, played the sexy naked blue chick in the blockbuster Avatar) who plays a character that seemed all-too-familiar to the character she played in her flick Colombiana, i.e. a sexy gun-toting ass-kicking chick who shoots first and asks questions later (my type of chick!). Anyway, as I pointed out, this flick is similar to The Expendables and The A-Team except that in the end--spoiler alert!--"the losers" don't catch the bad guy who set them up--i.e. a rogue government agent played by Patric--as it looks as if they were setting up for a sequel or a series of sequels, which, due to the film's rather lackluster box office (which probably didn't help that it was released at around the same time as the much more successful The A-Team), obviously didn't happen. In any case, The Losers is a passable action flick--even if is similar to The Expendables and/or The A-Team--and contains enough action that is sure to satisfy even the most hardcore action flick fan (and, of course, having Zoe Saldana providing the obligatory eye candy sure doesn't hurt!).    

KNIGHT AND DAY

 

Knight & Day is an "action-comedy" starring noted Hollywood A-listers Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz. In the film, Cameron Diaz plays a female mechanic of sorts who unwittingly gets tangled up with a rogue federal agent played by Tom Cruise. Picture Mission Impossible-lite and you'll get an idea of what this flick is like. Of course, this flick follows the basic plot of these "action-comedy"-esque flicks I've watched: Tom Cruise is the "good guy" who gets set up by one of his own for some nefarious reason and Cameron Diaz is the obligatory rather dimwitted eye candy whom Cruise's character spends much of the film "protecting" from the bad guys. And, yes, there's the obligatory scene showing Cameron in a rather skimpy bikini that scarcely holds her, um, parts in place just like in every other Cameron Diaz flick I've ever seen! (Miss Diaz must have it written into her contract for her to appear half-naked in her films!) While I can't say I'm the biggest fan of either Cameron Diaz or Tom Cruise (Diaz because of her sending a photog to the pokey for trying to sell her some nudie pics back even though you can see said nudie pics on the interwebs and Tom for being, well, a freakin' nutjob!), Knight & Day is still a pretty entertaining film to watch even if you aren't the biggest fans of these two.  And, yes, there's plenty of action and comedy in case I didn't make that point clear already!

PRIVATE PARTS

 

Let me first start off by saying how I'm not the biggest fan of Howard Stern. It's not that I object to him on "moral" reasons (since anyone who reads this blog on a regular basis knows how I'm NOT the most politically-correct person on the planet!). It's just that I find his schtick to be--what's the word I'm looking for?--tedious. I mean, over three-fourths of his repertoire consists of farting & lesbians. Not that I think there's anything necessarily wrong with farting & lesbians, mind you, but Howard Stern doesn't do ANYTHING on the air that, say, a foul-mouthed 8-year-old couldn't do, you know what I mean? With that being said, I actually found this film--supposedly based on Stern's (supposed) autobiography of the same name--rather entertaining even though, as some critics attested about this flick, it glossed over some of the more, shall we say, controversial aspects of Stern's schtick (racial humor, anyone?) and/or the obvious embellishments in the flick; like, for instance, the scene that depicted the president of NBC harping about Howard coming to work for them on "moral" issues even though I saw this very same president state during a TV biography I watched of Stern--which, of course, was probably more "accurate" about his life & career than this film was--how "happy" they were to have Stern to help bolster their ratings. Howard Stern also turned out to be a halfway decent actor. Of course, it probably didn't hurt his acting capabilities that he was "acting" as himself (or, at least, his public persona thereof!). In any case, Private Parts isn't too bad of a flick to pass the time with; that is, if you can "tolerate" the more raunchier parts of the flick--like, for instance, the scene where the woman swallows the kielbasa whole!--and/or if you can swallow (pardon the pun!) the obvious bunk for about 90 minutes or so! Of course, my own favorite part of the flick is when former "adult" film star Jenna Jameson appears in ze buff in Howard's studio during that one by-now-infamous scene (this was, of course, years before she became a shameless Republican-ass-kisser and--of course!--before she got all that godawful plastic surgery!). Of course, these days Howard Stern is hosting the "family-oriented" show America's Got Talent. My, how times HAVE changed indeed!

THE RAID: REDEMPTION

 

The Raid: Redemption is a fairly brutal Indonesian action film starring . . . well, I can't pronounce any of the actors names. In any case, the film is about a group of heavily-armed police officers who raid a ruthless drug lord's stronghold in a rundown apartment building in a Jakarta slum. However, when the officers realize they've been set up by one of their own who's in league with said ruthless drug lord, it's too late as they're already trapped and must fight their way out primarily through the use of martial arts. Keep in mind that the violence in this flick is more realistic and less, shall we say, cartoonish than your typical American action flick. Actually, I could picture this film as an American release--with, say, Jason Statham in the lead role--but, of course, it would probably be dumbed down for American audiences. In any case, The Raid: Redemption will no doubt please even the most hard-to-please action film fan even with the subtitles, which, unlike other foreign films I've watched, doesn't detract from being able to enjoy the film (of course, this being an action flick certainly helps in that regard!).