SNOOP DOGG'S HOOD OF HORROR

Snoop Dogg's Hood Of Horror is kind of like the "urban" version of Stephen King's Creepshow in that it's a horror anthology that's supposed to be based on a comic book. HOH contains three horror tales, including an animated introduction, which are introduced by rapper Snoop Dogg himself. The animated intro is about a gang-banger--voiced by Snoop--who accidentally shoots and kills his younger sister. He makes a deal with a demon from Hell that he'll exchange his life for his sister's and in return said gang-banger agrees to be a type of soul collector for Hell for an unspecified amount of time. The first non-animated story is about a graffiti artist named Posie--who witnessed her father kill her mother before he kills himself--who runs afoul of a bunch of street thugs. Afterwards, she gets abducted by this dingy creepy homeless guy--played by Danny Trejo (of Machete fame)--who grants Posie a special power that would allow her to create grand works of street art. Instead, she uses her power to get even with the street thugs she ran afoul of when she discovers that she can kill them when she crosses out their own street art. Posie is confronted again by the dingy creepy homeless man who points out to her that she could've broken the cycle of violence in her area with the power he'd given her. Because she only used her powers to make the violence even worse, he ends up siccing the gang-bangers she killed on her as they end up killing her and using her blood to make a beautiful flower mural. The second story is about a recently deceased father who leaves it in his will that he'll only leave his money to his loutish son if he agrees to spend a month living with his war buddies whom he served with in Vietnam so he can become a better person. However, instead of becoming a better person the way his father wanted, he and his equally-loutish girlfriend--played by former Playboy Playmate (and Hugh Hefner's ex-girlfriend) Brande Roderick (sorry, guys, no nudity from Brande!)--harass and/or humiliate his father's war buddies every chance they get. The war veterans finally reach their breaking point after the son and his girlfriend not only allow one of them to die needlessly but they also murder their beloved nurse and stick her body in the freezer where one of the war veterans finds it. So they kill the son's girlfriend by making her stomach explode by force-feeding her caviar (nice!) and they strap the son to a wheelchair, push him down a flight of stairs and impale him on his Cadillac horns (again, nice!). In the third and final story, an aspiring rapper makes a plea to God while sitting in a church to help make his dreams come true. In return, he promises that he'll use his fame to do good. Of course, he does anything BUT good after he becomes rich & famous like he wanted. He even has his rapping partner killed during a "fake" robbery that he set up. He is confronted one night by this strange woman--presumably a demon--who reminds him of the "promise" he made to God should he become a famous rapper like he's become. Then he's confronted by the "spirit" of his slain partner--with his face half blown off, no less--who informs him that he knew he set him up. He then sets up his murderous partner by killing his accomplice and sets up his former partner to be gunned down by police. (This scene also features a cameo by none other than Jason Alexander--who played bumbling George in Seinfeld--who plays a record label owner complete with cheesy British accent.) The movie ends with Snoop Dogg, after "collecting" the souls of the condemned people in the film, sitting on his throne in Hell--next to a "little person" wearing a cheesy-ass demon mask, no less--and he starts rapping (of course!). Actually, I don't really feel Snoop's presence is really needed in the film as he more or less just plays himself. Frankly, I think the producers of the film just added him on to try to give the film more publicity. I'll admit, I'm not what you'd call a big fan of Snoop Dogg of either his rapping or his acting capabilities of which critics have pretty much found lacking (Soul Plane, anyone?). Other than that, Hood Of Horror---even with Snoop Dogg--is a pretty entertaining horror flick. It WON'T be considered a "classic" like Stephen King's Creepshow, to be sure, but it's still pretty entertaining nonetheless. Fans of movies and/or shows like Creepshow, Tales From The Crypt and Tales From the Hood (which was similar to Hood Of Horror and was released about ten years before HOH) will likely enjoy this flick as well. Welcome to Hell, indeed!  

CONAN THE BARBARIAN

Conan The Barbarian is the 2011 reboot of the 1982 camp "classic" starring the one & only Arnold Schwarzenegger that made Ah-nold a bonafide movie star. The reboot stars lesser-known actor Jason Momoa in the title role. The film starts with Conan's mother giving birth during battle--or "blood-born" as it's referred to in the film--and she dies after giving birth. Ron Perlman (of Hellboy fame) plays Conan's father who gets murdered by this evil sorcerer who's intent on releasing an ancient evil into the world--with the aid of his creepy-ass daughter--while Conan watches helplessly kind of like in the original film. Also like in the original film, Conan grows up seeking revenge against said evil sorcerer and his creepy-ass daughter--played by Rose McGowan (of Charmed fame)--for the death of his father. Along the way, Conan meets up with this sexy monk chick--played by Rachel Nichols (of G.I. Joe fame)--whose "pure" blood the evil sorcerer needs to release said ancient evil onto the world (or some such thing!). Anyway, just like the original, the rebooted Conan is a movie you don't really watch for the "sensible" plot or for the grand acting but rather for all the sword fighting and whatnot, and, just like in the original, there's NO shortage of THAT! But, the REAL question remains, does the reboot compare to the original? The answer is, quite simply, NO. I don't think I'm going out on a limb here to say that the rebooted Conan will NEVER be considered a "classic" like the original. However, that's NOT to say that the rebooted Conan ISN'T "entertaining" in its OWN right, which it is, especially for fans of the sword & sorcery-type genre (like, of course, yours truly!). And, though Jason Momoa does try his darnedest to fill Ah-nold's muscle-bound shoes in this flick, no one--and I mean NO ONE--can replace Arnold as Conan. I mean, it was like Arnold was actually born to play this role (and, let's face it, he was!). One other thing I'd like to say about this flick is that I actually kind of found Rose McGowan kind of--dare I say it!--sexy in this flick. Granted, it was a creepy type of sexy, but I still found her rather sexy nonetheless (which, truth be told, is usually the type of chick I go for!)! A sidenote: At the time of this writing, Arnold Schwarzenegger is reportedly reprising his role in the "sequel" to his 1982 camp classic Conan The Barbarian (and not the follow-up the even more campy Conan The Destroyer). Frankly, in my oh-so-humble opinion, I'm not sure how they're going to pull this off since Ah-nold does look at least a tad bit older and something tells me he doesn't have quite the physique he had back then, but we'll see. We'll see! 

EVIL DEAD

Evil Dead is the 2013 reboot of the classic 1981 horror movie starring the one & only Bruce Campbell (who is not in the reboot although he did help produce it). Evil Dead the reboot follows pretty much the same storyline as the original: a group of friends travel to this secluded cabin in the woods where they find this "book of the dead" and, in spite of the dire warnings scribbled all over the book (which is wrapped in human skin, by the way) NOT to open the damn thing, they open it up and therefore unleash this horrible--you guessed it!--evil that--of course!--wreaks all kinds of havoc on said cabin dwellers and ends up possessing and/or killing all but one of them (since, of course, you need to keep at least ONE cast member alive for the sequels!). So how does Evil Dead the reboot compare to Evil Dead the original? Well, for starters, it looked like they had way more to spend on the special effects in the reboot than the original which seemingly gives new meaning to the phrase shoestring budget. The presence of Bruce Campbell is also sorely missed in the reboot since, let's face it, Bruce was the MAIN reason to watch the Evil Dead films (the original plus the two sequels). It probably goes without saying that the violence looks more "realistic" in the reboot than in the original (but then, that's also probably due to the reboot's budget which was undoubtedly larger than the budge they had for the original). Not that there wasn't any truly scary and/or horrific moments in the original (especially the infamous "tree" scene of which diehard ED fans will no doubt know what I'm talking about!) but there were some truly cringe-inducing moments in the reboot; like, for instance, when the lead girl gets her hand trapped underneath the car while trying to fight off the "evil" demon at the same time and she has to literally rip it off in order to escape. Ouch! Anyway, speaking strictly for myself, I would have to say I prefer the original Evil Dead to the reboot primarily due to Bruce Campbell, although I will say the reboot actually does rise above the standard "slasher" horror flick fare (which, as anyone who regularly reads this blog will no doubt know, I also have no issue with). And, for the record, my all-time favorite Evil Dead flick is the third sequel Army Of Darkness. Just thought you'd like to know!

CATACOMBS

Catacombs is a rather unique 2007 horror flick starring none other than pop singer Pink (who goes by her real name Alecia Moore in the film). Basically, the film's about a young woman--who's not Pink--who gets trapped in these catacombs during a rave she attends with her sister--who is Pink--while on vacation in Paris while being chased by a killer wearing a goat mask whom she witnesses murder her sister or at least that's what she initially believes. That's basically the movie as the young woman spends about three-fourths of the film walking and/or running around in the catacombs usually screaming her head off with a creepy-ass serial killer chasing after her (or, again, believing that said creepy-ass serial killer is chasing her). Along the way, she meets this rather creepy-ass Frenchman whom she is unable to understand who actually does try to kill her after she leaves him stuck in a hole with a broken leg after they try to find a way out of the catacombs together and she hits him in the head with a rock presumably killing him instead. Towards the end, the frightened young woman meets up with her sister--whom she believed was murdered by the "killer"--and her group of friends who had told her of the story of the goat mask-wearing serial killer running loose in the catacombs, which caused her to have these visions of said goat mask-wearing serial killer that were actually more frightening than anything that was in the movie. Anyway, while I won't spoil the ending for anyone (for once!), there is somewhat of a twist ending that viewers can probably figure out at the very beginning of the movie when the young woman has a voiceover where she actually announces that her sister along with everyone else she meets winds up dead. Oops! Anyway, Catacombs tries to be something other than the standard "slasher" horror flick fare and at times it succeeds--especially at the "twist" ending--and at times it, well, doesn't as at times it does get kind of boring (especially when the young woman spends her time walking and/or running around the catacombs while usually screaming her damn fool head off!). Catacombs might be an interesting horror flick to watch if you are indeed tired of watching the standard "slasher" horror flick fare. As for Pink's acting capabilities in the flick, she's actually not too bad of an actress. (Trust me, as someone who's seen PLENTY cheesy-ass horror flicks in his lifetime, I've seen worse!) 

STAR TREK

Star Trek is the 2009 cinematic reboot of the legendary TV & film franchise. It tells the story of the formation of the legendary crew of the Enterprise. To be honest, I was a bit hesitant about watching this film since I really couldn't imagine seeing any other actors portraying the characters Kirk, Spock, et al, than the original actors who made the characters so memorable. However, I must say I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed the performances of the actors portraying the original characters. The plot centers around a renegade Romulan named Nero who swears revenge against Spock whom he blames for the destruction of his home plant of Romulus. (Watch the movie to get the exact details of this, all right?) So Nero takes his ship back in time and wreaks havoc on the past's events, including destroying the ship where the future Captain Kirk's father was on and, of course, destroying the planet Vulcan as he swore he would do to future Spock. Before the destruction of Vulcan, we get to see Kirk & Spock as cadets at Starfleet Academy where they take an immediate dislike to each other after Spock accuses the rather arrogant Kirk of cheating during his by-now-infamous Kobayashi Maru test (see Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan). Kirk's trial is interrupted when Star Fleet receives a distress call from the planet Vulcan. Everyone gets assigned to a starship save for Kirk due to his impending investigation. However, with the help of none other than Dr. McCoy a.k.a. Bones whom Kirk had already befriended, he's able to sneak on board the Enterprise where Spock is serving on. While on board the Enterprise, Kirk sneaks onto the bridge--much to Spock's chagrin--and tells Capt. Pike (see the original TV series) that he believes all the other starships had fallen into a trap and that Vulcan was also being attacked. After seeing that Kirk is right, Pike promotes Kirk to first officer--again, much to Spock's chagrin--after he agrees to go onto the enemy ship per Nero's request and leaves Spock in command. Spock is able to save his father and a few other high-ranking Vulcans--but not his mother (played by noted kleptomaniac Winona Ryder)--before Vulcan is completely destroyed by Nero. (Again, watch the movie for details about how this is done, OK?) This leaves Spock "emotionally compromised" of which Kirk takes full advantage of at the behest of the future Spock whom the younger Kirk meets after the younger Spock maroons him on a planet where future Spock had himself been marooned on by Nero after Kirk challenged one of his orders. Before going back onto the Enterprise, future Spock and younger Kirk meet up with Scotty (as in "Beam me up, Scotty!" even though that was never said on the show) who accompanies Kirk onto the Enterprise sans future Spock via Scotty's new form of transportation. After Kirk & Scotty sneak onto the bridge of the Enterprise, Kirk deliberately picks a fight with the younger Spock--again, at future Spock's request--so that everyone will see how "emotionally compromised" he is. Because of this, Spock relinquishes command and Kirk takes over and orders the Enterprise to confront the Romulan ship where Capt. Pike is being tortured by Nero. Of course, an epic battle ensues (and I, of course, won't tell you how it all ends, although you can probably already figure that one out for yourself even if you haven't yet watched the film). Like I said, I was somewhat hesitant about watching the rebooted Star Trek movie, but I did find myself enjoying it. And I must say I also quite enjoyed the performances of the cast, especially Chris Pine as Kirk and Zachary Quinto as Spock. However, with that being said, I feel that no one can "replace" the original actors William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy (who, of course, played future Spock in the rebooted movie), et al, as I'm sure diehard fans of Star Trek would agree. Oh yeah, we also learn in this film that Spock and Uhura--played by the "uber" hot Zoe Saldana (who, of course, starred in the box office hit Avatar)--had apparently been bumping Vulcan uglies for quite some time. "Live long & prosper!" indeed! A sidenote: William Shatner stated in interviews how "upset" he was that he wasn't "invited" to star in the rebooted Star Trek. In one story I read about some Star Trek convention both he and Leonard Nimoy attended, Shatner reportedly ranted & raved during a Q & A session onstage so much about him not starring in the new Star Trek film that he reportedly had to be led off the stage, leaving a reportedly embarrassed Nimoy to "apologize" to the audience. Shatner reportedly started later on how this was all an "act" on his part and that he was never really all that "upset" about his not starring in the newest Star Trek flick. Knowing Bill Shatner's "reputation" for kidding around, this is probably true. You think?