PORKY'S REVENGE!

The eighties "classic" film Porky's was a sort of precursor to modern films such as the aforementioned The Hangover (you know, the one that ripped off the porno flick). Set in a high school in the fifties, Porky's was about a group of sex-crazed teens (but then, are there ANY other!) who get into all kinds of mischief, espcially when they're trying to get laid. The movie featured all types of memorable characters such as Pee-Wee, Meat, and the unforgettable Beulah Balbricker whom the teens lovingly refer to as Beulah Ballbreaker. There were three films in the series, a trilogy of sorts (sort of like Stars Wars and Lord of the Rings, only with a lot more sexual innuendo!). Porky's Revenge! was the third and final film in the series (and arguably the least popular). In the film, the title character the also-unforgettable Porky returns to seek revenge on the teens for destroying his whorehouse and subsequently humiliating him in the first one by "convincing" them to throw the upcoming high school football game . . . or else. But the plot's not the reason why I'm reviewing the film here. I picked this particular Porky's film to review because I've always had a sort of weird crush on the character Blossom (played by actress Wendy Feigh who apparently, like most if not all of the other actors in the film, didn't do too many more acting gigs after the film; again, sort of like Star Wars!) who is Porky's daughter. Blossom gets together (nudge! nudge! wink! wink!) with Meat in the film--not by Meat's choice, of course!--and, when Porky finds out, he abducts Meat and plans on forcing him to marry his beloved Blossom. Blossom was certainly NOT your "standard" beauty with her braces and pigtails and the rather funny way she talked and overall acted (but then, just like with "family" flicks, "standard" beauties are definitely NOT my usual thing!). And, yes, Blossom appears topless during her one-sided "love" scene with Meat where she practically rapes him while the other boys are downstairs talking with her father Porky. A good, wholesome film for the ENTIRE family! A sidenote: In the first Porky's film, noted MILF actress Kim Cattrall (of Sex & The City fame) makes her cinematic debut as the also-unforgettable character Lassie. And, when you see her scene in the film when she gets it on with one of the school coaches in the boy's locker room, you'll see WHY her character was nicknamed Lassie! (And, trust me, you definitely WON'T be thinking about the damn dog!)