Welcome to my Movie Blog!

Hi, I'm Tony, a.k.a. The Non Roger Ebert (R.I.P., Roger!), and welcome to my movie blog. First, let me start out by saying that this WON'T be any ordinary movie blog as I'll be reviewing movies you've probably heard of before or probably never thought about watching. Yes, I will review the occasional "mainstream" film (mostly to slam it!) and I'll be reviewing films both past and present (mostly past since I think most films released nowadays suck canal water!). I also won't be using any star ratings or thumbs up or thumbs down or anything like that since if you CAN'T figure out how much I love or loathe a film by my movie reviews alone then you're a dumb mofo, please exit the site NOW!!!! Along with the movie reviews will be commentaries on various celebrities and/or the so-called "entertainment" business in general. Enjoy!



Wednesday, February 15, 2012

SLEEPWALKERS





Sleepwalkers, which is also known as Stephen King's Sleepwalkers (since, of course, it's based on his original screenplay), is about a mother and son "sleepwalkers" who are these, according to Wikipedia, "shapeshifting energy vampires" who pretty much survive by sucking the lifeforce out of young virgin women. Alice Krige (of Star Trek: First Contact fame) and Brian Krause (of Charmed fame) play the mother and son and actress Madchen Amick plays the young virginal woman whom the pair has their sights set on. However, there's just one small thing that's keeping them from sucking the young sexy lifeforce out of Miss Amick: cats. Yes, you heard right, cats are the main enemy of these so-called sleepwalkers, which is why they keep traps set out for them around their house to catch them and, of course, kill them. I won't tell you how the movie ends except that it involves lots of, er, pussy. Oh, and did I mention the mother and son "sleepwalkers" also boink each other? So if you're into rather crazy-ass horror flicks about incestuous shapeshifters or aliens or whatever the hell they are, then this could be the flick for YOU! Oh yeah, Stephen King (the pervert!) also has a rather brief cameo as a cemtary caretaker in the film. Just thought you'd like to know!    

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