16 BLOCKS

 

 

 

16 Blocks stars Bruce Willis and rapper/actor Mos Def. In the film, Willis plays a burned-out alcoholic detective named Jack Mosley who is recruited to escort a newly-freed prisoner named Eddie Bunker--played by Def--who is scheduled to testify at a police corruption hearing. Of course, the corrupt cops whom Eddie is supposed to be testifying against aren't too happy about this so they try to have him killed. At first, they try to persuade Jack to look the other way while they off him, but he has an abrupt change-of-heart and decides to protect Eddie at all costs even though it turns out he's just as "corrupt" as they are. In the end, after being forced to hijack a bus, Mosley decides to let Bunker go and testify in his place instead since, as he sees it, he's just as "guilty" as the rest of them. I think I should point out that, though Willis plays a cop in this flick, don't expect a Die Hard-style action flick as this film is more dramatic than those in the Die Hard film franchise. And the Jack Mosley character is arguably truer-to-life than the John McClane character. So, in other words, there's no "Yippee-ki-yay, M.F.-er!" in this particular flick. With that being said, there's still quite a bit of action in this flick enough to probably satisfy even the most, er, die hard Die Hard fan. And this flick gives Bruce Willis a chance to stretch his acting chops a bit. One drawback to this film is that Mos Def's character probably has the most irritating movie voice in cinematic history!



WAR

 

 

War is an action film starring Jason Statham and Jet Li. This flick was released a few years before their pairing in the Sylvester Stallone vehicle The Expendables. In this film, Jason plays a CIA agent on the trail of a hitman who goes by the name of Rogue whom he believes is responsible for the brutal death of his partner and his wife and young daughter. He finally catches up to Rogue when he's working for the boss of the Chinese Triad who's feuding with the Japanese Yakuza (which is the Japanese version of the American mafia). The film is reminiscent of the Clint Eastwood "spaghetti western" classic A Fistful Of Dollars as Rouge begins playing the two gangs against each other as he starts slaying members from each gang. Jason's character is investigating the slayings and believes it's the work of the assassin Rogue. Of course, Rogue eventually reveals his true intentions when he has a sword fight with the leader of the Japanese Yakuza who was the one who ordered the hit on the other CIA agent and his family. There's also a sort of plot twist towards the end of the film when it's revealed that neither Rogue nor Statham's CIA agent is who they were initially portrayed out to be. (I, of course, won't reveal said "twist" so as not to ruin it for anyone.) Of course, Jason & Jet have a climatic fight towards the last of the film when their true identities are brought out in the open. War is not what you'd call your typical cookie-cutter action flick, and Jet Li is actually pretty good at playing the bad guy (although, as I implied earlier, he's not what you'd call a total villain). There are certainly enough fight scenes and gun battles to satisfy the most ardent lover of action flicks, and the plot will keep you guessing until the end when everything is revealed. If you're looking for an action flick that doesn't follow the standard action flick formula (although moviegoers have seen the seeking-revenge-for-a-fallen-comrade plotline PLENTY of times before), then War could very well be that flick.



TED

 

 

Ted marks the directorial debut of Seth MacFarlane who's the weirdo, uh, I mean, the guy who brought us Family Guy (yes, THAT Family Guy!). As one might expect, this is most definitely NOT a children's flick in spite of the cute little teddy bear taking a leak in the movie poster. Anyway, the flick starts off--dare I say it!--innocently enough as a young boy wishes that his stuffed teddy bear can become real. Well, the little boy gets his "wish" and THEN some as Ted the Teddy Bear--voiced by Seth MacFarlane himself (which, of course, could explain why Ted sounds suspiciously like Peter Griffin)--not only "magically" comes to life but grows up to be a foul-mouthed, pot-smoking horny little stuffed bear who, among other things, encourages prostitutes to take a deuce on the floor. Oh, did I mention this was NOT a kid's flick? Anyway, the little boy whose wish brought Ted to life grows up to become Mark "Don't Call Me Marky Mark!" Wahlberg who has a hot-as-hell live-in girlfriend played by Mila "That Hot Chick From That 70s Show" Kunis. Of course, Mila's character wants Mark's character to grow up and/or settle down and she blames Ted--who also lives with the cozy couple--for him not doing so. As a result, Ted is made to move out and get a job. He ends up getting a job as a cashier at a grocery store, much to Ted's chagrin, where, among other things, he ends up bumping teddy uglies with the hot-as-hell cashier in back of the store on top of the produce. Again, did I mention this WASN'T a kiddie flick? Actually, this film wasn't as raunchy as I thought it'd be. Of course, as I've just pointed out, this flick has MORE than its fair share of raunchy moments, but it does have its--again, dare I say it!--sentimental moments as well, especially towards the end when Ted gets kidnapped by some weirdo who wants a "magical" teddy bear of his own and for his equally-weirdo son and Mark's and Mila's characters come to Ted's rescue and Ted gets--spoiler alert!--ripped in half by said weirdo and winds up going to teddy bear heaven (or hell!). As a result, Mila's character "wishes" that Ted will come back to life and . . . well, I don't think I have to tell you what happens next, do I? As you can probably already tell, Ted is not only NOT a children's flick but is most definitely NOT for the easily-offended! So put the kids to bed BEFORE you watch this flick (or don't, I don't really care!)! Best line in the flick: "No, I don't sound like Peter Griffin!" Second best line in the flick: "Is that a shit?"



WHIP IT

 

 

Whip It marks the directorial debut of actress Drew Barrymore (of E.T. and Charlie's Angels fame) who also has a relatively smaller role in this film. This film stars Ellen Page (of Juno and Inception fame) who plays a rather rebellious teenager named Bliss who lives in a small Texas town who's pretty much forced into doing beauty pageants by her overbearing mother (played by Marcia Gay Harden) who's a former beauty pageant queen herself. However, she decides what she really wants to do is play women's roller derby after seeing her very first roller derby match. So she auditions to be a member of the roller derby group even though she's underage. So she lies about her age and ends up making the cut. Being involved in a roller derby group gives Bliss the courage to finally stand up to her overbearing mother once and for all and tells her what she truly wants to do, which is, of course, roller derby much to her mother's chagrin. Whip It at times plays a little like a Lifetime original movie, and Ellen Page basically plays a variation of the rebellious teenager she played in her highly-acclaimed film Juno which won her a slew of accolades and/or awards. Whip It I would say qualifies as a "chick flick" that would satisfy male viewers with the roller derby scenes (I mean, what guy doesn't like hot chicks riding around on skates beating the crap out of each other, am I right, fellas!). This film also stars Kristen Wiig (of Bridesmaids and Saturday Night Live fame) who plays the "leader" of the roller derby group Ellen Page's character is on and Juliette Lewis (of Natural Born Killers and Cape Fear fame) who does her typical crazy bad-ass chick shtick and plays the "leader" of the rival roller derby group who becomes Page's character's personal rival in the film (because, you know, it wouldn't be a true "chick flick" without two chicks going at it!). This film also doesn't have your typical "happy ending" like you see in so many other films (and, of course, you;ll just have to watch the film to see what I'm talking about, all right?). Overall, I'd say Whip It would make a decent choice for your next date night if you can't decide what film to watch. (You're welcome, guys!)



THE FORBIDDEN KINGDOM

 

 

The Forbidden Kingdom is a martial arts "fantasy" film starring Jet Li and Jackie Chan who pair up for the very first time in this flick. In the film, Jet & Jackie play dual roles (and is some of their best acting work, in my opinion). Anyway, the film is about a teen--I'm assuming he's a teen--who's obsessed with kung-fu flicks who gets transported back to ancient China thanks to an ancient "magical" stick given to him by an elderly pawn shop owner in Chinatown who tells him to take the "magical" stick back to its right owner. The pawn shop owner gets shot when his store is robbed by a gang of ruffians who chase the teen. He falls off the top of a building and the "magical" stick transports him back to ancient China. While running away from a group of armed soldiers who are trying to steal his "magical" stick to take back to the evil Jade Warlord--who wears entirely too much eye makeup, by the way--who's appointed himself king after defeating the Monkey King and turning his body into stone, he comes across a drunk martial arts master--played by Jackie--and then later a monk--played by Jet (who also plays the Monkey King)--who not only inform him of his "destiny" of setting the legendary Monkey King free with his "magical" stick so he can defeat the Jade Warlord but also train him to become a martial artist (which he seemingly becomes in record time, I might add). As you can probably tell, this film is more fantastical than some other martial arts films, but there's still plenty of martial arts action to satisfy the most diehard martial arts flicks fan. I, of course, won't spoil the ending for anyone, although this is one of these films you can probably pretty much get an idea of how it's going to end while you're watching it (although there is kind of a "twist" ending with one of Jackie Chan's characters towards the end that kind of ties the whole plot together). This flick is also more "family-friendly" than other martial arts flicks, but, there again, there's enough martial arts action that it won't really matter. Oh yeah, there's also an evil witch with a really bad wig. And, yes, there is a fight scene between Jet & Jackie in the film. Just thought you'd like to know!