Welcome to my Movie Blog!

Hi, I'm Tony, a.k.a. The Non Roger Ebert (R.I.P., Roger!), and welcome to my movie blog. First, let me start out by saying that this WON'T be any ordinary movie blog as I'll be reviewing movies you've probably heard of before or probably never thought about watching. Yes, I will review the occasional "mainstream" film (mostly to slam it!) and I'll be reviewing films both past and present (mostly past since I think most films released nowadays suck canal water!). I also won't be using any star ratings or thumbs up or thumbs down or anything like that since if you CAN'T figure out how much I love or loathe a film by my movie reviews alone then you're a dumb mofo, please exit the site NOW!!!! Along with the movie reviews will be commentaries on various celebrities and/or the so-called "entertainment" business in general. Enjoy!



Saturday, May 4, 2013

LOOPER

Looper stars Bruce Willis and Joseph Gordon-Levitt in what's got to be the most interesting--and rather confusing--flick I've seen in a while. First of all, Willis and Levitt both play the same man in the film. Levitt is a Looper, which is basically a "futuristic" hit man for the mob in that he kills whoever the mob from the future sends back in time for him to kill. Are you with me so far? In the future time travel is invented and then outlawed shortly thereafter. However, as expected, it's still in use by the criminal element, in particular a mysterious powerful mob boss known only as The Rainmaker who wants all Loopers killed. When a Looper's services are no longer needed, they get abducted in the future and then get sent back in time where they're killed by their younger selves. The Loopers know their services are no longer needed when they realize the person they just killed is indeed an older version of themselves. After being paid off in gold bars (when they're usually paid in silver bars) that are strapped to their older selves's backs, they're allowed to live another 30 years before their abduction and subsequent execution, Again, are you with me so far? Anyway, Hewitt's execution of himself doesn't go well and Willis manages to escape where he plans to find the then-still-young future Rainmaker and kill him to keep his future wife--who gets shot and killed during his abduction--safe and alive. Along the way, Hewitt hides out from his former employers at this farmhouse--who apparently don't take too kindly to Loopers who don't manage to off their future selves--where a woman--played by Emily Blunt--lives with her "son" who turns out to be--spoiler alert!--the future Rainmaker. Oh, did I mention that the young future Rainmaker is a powerful telekinetic of which at least a portion of the population possesses at least some form of telekinesis, including the future Rainmaker's "mother"? There again, are you with me so far? As one might expect with a rather weird-ass flick like this, there is a twist ending of which I won't spoil for you here. Looper would be an interesting flick for anyone who is interested is watching a, shall we say, different type of sci-fi flick. Oh yeah, one more thing you should know about this flick is that "uber" hot actress Piper Perabo (of Coyote Ugly fame) shows her ta-tas (notice I didn't say bodacious!) in a nudie scene with Joseph (who, thank the stars, doesn't show anything himself!). Just thought you'd like to know!

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