RAW DEAL

Raw Deal is a mid-eighties action flick starring none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger during his "action hero" heyday. In the flick, Arnold plays a disgraced FBI agent turned small town sheriff who was forced to resign after beating up a suspect who brutalized a young girl. Arnold's character is approached by the head of the FBI to go undercover to help bring down the mob boss who had his son killed who was protecting a witness who was set to testify against said mob boss. Arnold's character agrees after the FBI head promises to get him back into the FBI if he does him this favor. Of course, Arnold's character brings down the mob boss and his criminal organization in typical Arnie style (with guns and fists blazing!). Actually, this was one of my favorite Arnold Schwarzenegger flicks of all-time. I know, I know other people will no doubt pick flicks like Commando, Kindergarten Cop and especially The Terminator as their own favorite Schwarzenegger action flicks, but I felt this is one of Ah-nold's most underrated action flicks. Plus I felt this was one of Ah-nold's better acting jobs. I think even Ah-nold's most ardent fans would no doubt agree that he's not what you'd call the greatest in the acting department, but he does have an entertaining aspect about him, and that's no doubt what led to his popularity on the big screen. And, in this film, I feel that Ah-nold was at his most wittiest and such. Also, I regard the scene when Arnold's character goes on a shooting rampage at the mob boss's gravel pit where he conducts a good chunk of his "business" while driving around with the classic song "Satisfaction" by the Rolling Stones playing in his tape deck (remember, this WAS the eighties!) as one of the greatest action scenes of all-time, at least in MY oh-so-humble opinion! Best line in the flick: "Who do I look like, Dirty Harry?" Second best line: "Smart I like, Smartass I don't!"

Here's a clip of the famous "gravel pit" scene from Raw Deal:

A VERY STRONG FU TO ROMAN POLANSKI & WOODY ALLEN

I feel it’s safe to assume that if a nationwide poll were taken the vast majority of people in this country--especially those outside Hollywood--would more than likely state they wouldn’t care--in fact, they would prefer--if Hollywood “icons” Roman Polanski and Woody Allen not only never made another movie but dropped out of the limelight altogether. Both Roman & Woody are, of course, “famed” film directors who have garnered just as much--perhaps more--notoriety for their public controversies as for any of their films, which, in my oh-so-humble opinion, are vastly overrated. 

For those of you who have been living under a rock these past few decades, Roman Polanski copped to drugging AND brutally raping a 13-year-old girl in Jack Nicholson’s Jacuzzi back in the seventies. Instead of risking jail time for his heinous crime, Polanski instead fled the country where he’s been hiding out ever since. The U.S. tried to extradite him a few years ago but the Swiss government refused much to the obvious delight of the Hollywood establishment who by & large VERY vocally voiced their “support” of the brutal child rapist. For instance, Whoopi Goldberg, who at one time convinced her then-boyfriend Ted Danson to publicly don BLACKFACE, stated on The View how what Roman did--i.e. drug and brutally rape a CHILD--didn’t amount to what she termed, and I quote, “rape-rape”. 

Another Hollywood celeb who vocally “supported” Roman Polanski was none other than Woody Allen who, while he may not have been the brutal child rapist like his “friend” Roman Polanski, has himself been accused of engaging in various sexual indiscretions, including with his (alleged) stepdaughters. Again, for those of you who’ve been living under a rock these past couple of decades, Woody’s longtime girlfriend Mia Farrow--who, of course, starred in a number of Allen’s films--found nude pictures taken of her 19-year-old adopted daughter Soon-Yi by Woody. Long story short, Mia & Allen break up and Woody shacks up with his, uh-hum, love-of-his-life Soon-Yi and eventually marries her. Press reports called Soon-Yi Woody’s “stepdaughter” even though he and Farrow never married. However, though Allen may not have technically been her stepfather, Woody had known Soon-Yi since she was a child and, by all accounts, did indeed act like an actual father to her. So MY question to Mr. Allen would be: When did he stop looking at her like a child/pseudo-stepdaughter and more like, well, a sex object? And when precisely did their relationship turn from a adult/child and/or father/daughter dynamic into one that was sexual? Interestingly enough, I’ve never heard Woody Allen asked these questions. 

And then there’s, of course, the allegation lobbied against him at around the same time as his “relationship” with Soon-Yi first became public that he had molested his other adopted daughter Dylan when she was a child, charges that Dylan herself repeated in an open letter she had published earlier this year in the New York Times, which, not surprisingly, drew a sharp rebuke from Woody Allen himself who said Dylan’s allegations were untrue and whatnot. Supporters of Woody Allen have cited how Allen was never charged with a crime in this particular case and cite how there were “contradictions” in Dylan’s accounts of the (alleged) abuse (even though she WAS just a child at the time). However, I can’t help but notice how these same “supporters” never cite Allen’s own contradictions about his, shall we say, interactions with young Dylan (Google it). Not only that, but Allen had obviously acted “inappropriately” with one adopted child, namely Soon-Yi, so would it be THAT much of a stretch to suggest that he could’ve acted “inappropriately” with another adopted child? But, whether or not he did in fact molest his adopted daughter, both Woody Allen & Roman Polanski are prime examples of how celebrities seemingly get away with things, regardless of how heinous, that “normal” people couldn’t get away with. There again, supporters of Allen & Polanski cite the “talents” of both film directors. And I say talent does not--I repeat--DOES NOT excuse bad behavior. Except, of course, in Hollyweird, uh, I mean, wood! 

A sidenote: Here’s the link to the open letter written by Dylan Farrow published in the NYT and you can decide for yourself whether or not you believe her account of what transpired between her and Woody Allen: http://kristof.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/02/01/an-open-letter-from-dylan-farrow/?_php=true&_type=blogs&_r=0 As for whether or not I personally believe her, well, let’s just say that it wouldn’t surprise me AT ALL and leave it at that, OK? Lastly, actress Scarlett Johansson--who has, of course, starred in a few Woody Allen films herself--publicly stated how "irresponsible" it was for Dylan Farrow to name her in her article when she asked various celebrities such as Johansson how could they keep starring in his films in spite of what he (allegedly) done. I wonder if Scarlett thinks it's "responsible" for a grown man to have a sexual relationship with the adopted daughter of his girlfriend who is indeed young enough to be his own daughter? Just asking!

THE OMEN

The Omen is the 2006 remake of the seventies "classic" horror flick about a young boy who may--or may not be--the literal Son Of Satan. You probably know the "plot" by now: A couple adopts an orphaned boy whom they name--what else!--Damien. Then shortly thereafter people around them start dying off mysteriously & violently. Then some creepy old Catholic priest--which is an apparent requirement in these type of films--informs the parents that their beloved adopted son is--again, what else!--the actual son of the pointed-horned one himself. Of course, the parents don't heed the creepy old Catholic priest's "warning" until it's too late. (Insert Satanic/demonic laughing here!) I must say, The Omen is by far one of the most BORING horror flicks I have ever seen. Why? For one, I like my horror flicks with a bit more gore, and two, I've never been much of a fan of horror flicks that features kids as the bad guys. I mean, the way I see it, kids are little terrors to begin with, am I right, people! (Oh, I know I'm gonna get the hate messages for THAT one!) About the only thing I even remotely liked about this flick is that it starred the lovely Julia Stiles who plays the little demonic bastard's ill-fated mother. Again, I must say, I think it's kind of a shame that we don't get to see Miss Stiles in more movies (especially in movies that are not as BORING as this one!). As for the "plot" of this flick, all I've got to say is, when you name your kid Damien, you pretty much get what you deserve, you know what I mean? 

THE FIRST WIVES CLUB

The First Wives Club is without a doubt one of the most ridiculously asinine flicks I have EVER wasted my time watching. I believe I've posted before how it really takes a lot for me to really hate a movie. Well, if THIS flick would not be in my top five most hated flicks list, it would most definitely be in my top ten. The First Wives Club stars Goldie Hawn, Diane Keaton and Bette Midler as three divorced women who get pissed off at their ex-husbands for daring to date younger women. So they all three form a--you guessed it!--First Wives Club with the distinct goal of seeking revenge against their exes. Here's the problem I had with this particular flick (which even this blog's namesake the late Roger Ebert denounced as a "creepy revenge comedy"): Although this movie is billed as a "comedy," viewers are still supposed to root for these three "abused" women. Trouble is, the characters played by Goldie, Diane and Bette are three of the most narcissistic harpies I've ever seen on-film. And, while their ex-husbands might be superficial cads, they hardly quality as hardcore "abusers" to their ex-wives (e.g. they suffer no verbal or physical abuse, which, of course, are topics that wouldn't do all too well in a film that's supposed to be a "comedy"). What made this flick all the more cringe-worthy was the ending when, after the three women had gotten their "revenge" on their exes or whatever, they all three dance to the song "You Don't Own Me" complete with matching white outfits. Ugh. At least they didn't go the Thelma & Louise route and commit mass suicide (but then, given how lousy THIS movie was, it might've--and I say might've!--made it better!). There was even a scene where one of the daughters, to help mom get back at her "abusive" father (after he'd given her a job, no less), rather vindictively told her father that she was a "big" lesbian (how's THAT for "gay" rights!). The only thing I found "enjoyable" about this flick at all was that it starred Elizabeth Berkley (of Showgirls fame) as one of the younger girlfriends of one of the ex-husbands (and, no, she kept her clothes on in this flick; not that I think even THAT would've made it better it was THAT bad!). I think one of the reasons why I felt this film SUCKED was because I've known women in my life who were truly abused by their husbands and/or their boyfriends (and, as Forrest Gump might say, that's all I'm gonna say about that) and, because of that, I found it rather difficult to root for three well-to-do self-absorbed white women who were pissed off at their husbands for going through a midlife crisis or whatever. Again, this film is supposed to be a "comedy" and some people might--and I say might!--tell me to lighten up, but, there again, I remember when this film first came out--back in the mid-nineties--it was lauded as a "feminist" movie and, there again, the three main characters were lauded as some type of "role models" for other women to admire or emulate or whatever (or at least that's the impression I got). And, there again, I found nothing--I repeat--NOTHING "admirable" about these self-preoccupied (fill in the blank for yourself!). I actually heard someone was actually planning a remake of this asinine flick. Heaven help us all! Lastly, wouldn't the best "revenge" for these gals would have been to "date" younger dudes? Just saying! A sidenote: I feel I should point out that the author who wrote the book that this asinine movie was based on--whose name was Olivia Goldsmith--actually died during--and, no, I'm NOT making this up!--plastic surgery. Make of THAT what you will!

Here's the clip of Goldie Hawn, Diane Keaton & Bette Midler dancing in matching white outfits in the "climax" of The First Wives Club (my apologies in advance!):