AN ODE TO JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT'S BREASTS

 



If there was EVER an award for Best Overall Prick Tease, it would undoubtedly go to actress/"singer" Jennifer Love Hewitt who has made a virtual career out of, well, prick teasing as Jennifer has appeared in countless TV shows and movies--and has even appeared half-naked in magazines such as noted "lad mag" Maxim--and has always teased TV viewers and moviegoers with her, shall we say, goodies but has never pulled a--again, shall we say--Sharon Stone or a Lindsay Lohan and REALLY showed everyone her, um, talent. Hell, even Hewitt herself has "joked" that her ta-tas has often had a BETTER career than she has had! Even some critics had "joked" that her horror flick I Know What You Did Last Summer should've been renamed I Know What Your Breasts Did Last Summer! Jennifer has been smarter than a number of Hollywood starlets, such as Lindsay Lohan, and has pretty much not gone down the druggie and/or rehab road they have gone down as about the only public controversies she has encountered is that she has been in a number of high-profile relationships, including a few broken engagements, with both "civilians" and celebrities such as--and, no, I'm NOT making this up!--comic "actor" Jamie Kennedy who co-starred with Love on Ghost Whisperer--which, of course, could have been renamed Breast Whisperer!--and singer/D-Bag John "I Have a David Duke Cock!" Mayer who reportedly wrote his hit song "Your Body Is a Wonderland" or whatever the hell it was called for his then-girlfriend Jennifer. Jennifer has also recorded a song or two, one of which was even titled Barenaked! Hmmm, I wonder, if JLH trying to tell us something? Then, of course, there was that time she was caught with her then-fiance wearing a bikini with her flabby ass hanging out (and STILL looked pretty damn sexy, as far as I was concerned!). Frankly, I think if Miss Hewitt should ever "retire" from the show bizz, she ought to do a movie called My Breasts where all it is is just a 90-minutes closeup of her ta-tas and nothing more. No dialogue. No plot. Just JLH's beautiful bountiful juggies. How much do you wanna bet THAT film would become the highest-grossing flick of ALL time? (Hey, it would sure beat the hell out of The Tuxedo!)