Welcome to my Movie Blog!

Hi, I'm Tony, a.k.a. The Non Roger Ebert (R.I.P., Roger!), and welcome to my movie blog. First, let me start out by saying that this WON'T be any ordinary movie blog as I'll be reviewing movies you've probably heard of before or probably never thought about watching. Yes, I will review the occasional "mainstream" film (mostly to slam it!) and I'll be reviewing films both past and present (mostly past since I think most films released nowadays suck canal water!). I also won't be using any star ratings or thumbs up or thumbs down or anything like that since if you CAN'T figure out how much I love or loathe a film by my movie reviews alone then you're a dumb mofo, please exit the site NOW!!!! Along with the movie reviews will be commentaries on various celebrities and/or the so-called "entertainment" business in general. Enjoy!



Monday, March 5, 2012

BLAME IT ON RIO




When I first watched this movie as a horny virginal adolescent, it was like watching porn (seeing, of course, how I hadn't watched actual porn yet!). This movie stars Michael Caine (yes, THAT Michael Caine) who goes with his best friend played by Joseph Bologna (yes, that's his actual name) on a trip to Rio de Janeiro and winds up banging his hot teenaged daughter played by the ultra hot Michelle Johnson who's best friends with Caine's daughter played by the aforementioned Demi Moore. There's, of course, nudity galore in this flick thanks largely--and I do mean largely!--to the ample assets of Miss Johnson, although Miss Moore also shows her then-nearly-flattened ta-tas during a topless beach scene. Of course, hilarity ensues when Michael and Michelle attempt to keep their "affair" secret and then when Mr. Bologna's character (spoiler alert!) discovers his daughter's sexual relationship with his best bud Caine's character. My favorite scene is when Michelle Thompson takes a nudie photo of herself for Michael Caine wearing nothing but a huge grin and flowers covering her . . . well, you know! How much do you wanna bet old Michael really enjoyed, uh-hum, working on THIS picture? (Hey, I'm sure it beat the hell out of that crappy-ass Jaws picture he did!) 



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