Welcome to my Movie Blog!

Hi, I'm Tony, a.k.a. The Non Roger Ebert (R.I.P., Roger!), and welcome to my movie blog. First, let me start out by saying that this WON'T be any ordinary movie blog as I'll be reviewing movies you've probably heard of before or probably never thought about watching. Yes, I will review the occasional "mainstream" film (mostly to slam it!) and I'll be reviewing films both past and present (mostly past since I think most films released nowadays suck canal water!). I also won't be using any star ratings or thumbs up or thumbs down or anything like that since if you CAN'T figure out how much I love or loathe a film by my movie reviews alone then you're a dumb mofo, please exit the site NOW!!!! Along with the movie reviews will be commentaries on various celebrities and/or the so-called "entertainment" business in general. Enjoy!



Saturday, February 9, 2013

IMMORTALITY (a.k.a. THE WISDOM OF CROCODILES)

 
Immortality--which was also released under the title The Wisdom Of Crocodiles (don't ask me why)--is a pseudo-vampire flick starring Jude Law. And I use the word "pseudo" because it's kind of up in the air whether or not Jude Law's character is a real life vampire or not. The only time in the film when you think he's actually a vampire is when he gets involved with one woman at the beginning of the film whom he saves from killing herself and then later kills her after striking up a relationship with her and then, as they're about to do the deed at his place, he kills her by biting her in the neck and letting her bleed to death. But, unlike other cinematic vampires, he's able to walk out in sunlight and he's able to touch a cross necklace, so there you go. The film is also rather low-key (but then, what Jude Law flick ISN'T low-key in some way?). The film co-stars actress Elina Lowensohn as Jude's love-interest. Elina is perhaps best know for her appearance on the "classic" TV show Seinfeld where she plays the Russian gymnast girlfriend of Jerry's who disappoints Jerry, shall we say, sexually. She also shows her bodacious ta-tas in this flick for anyone who is--again, shall we say--interested in that. Anyway, I think I should note that there's not much action in this flick as there tends to be in other vampire-oriented flicks. In fact, the only real "action" in this flick is the scene where Jude's character takes on a street gang when they try to assault his lady (and is, as one might imagine, my favorite scene in the entire flick besides--of course!--the bodacious ta-tas scene!). But, if you'd like to watch a different type of "vampire" flick, then Immortality (a.k.a. The Wisdom Of Crocodiles) could very well be that "vampire" flick.

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