Here's the "plot" to the Lord Of The Rings trilogy in a nutshell: Two Vulcan-looking midgets, uh, I mean, dwarfs go traipsing through the woods carrying this "magic" ring being led by a walking/talking turd-man who talks like a raspy-sounding Yoda and a "gay" wizard--well, at least the actor playing him is gay!--who looks suspiciously like the wizard in those Harry Potter movies. Of course, the entire movie--and the rather pretentious book series it's based upon--could've been over in about a few minutes if the two Vulcan-looking midgets, uh, I mean, dwarfs would've just flew in on those damn big-ass birds they flew in on at the end of the third friggin' LOTR movie to drop off said "magic" ring in that damned volcano or whatever the hell it was! Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go watch the Star Wars prequels again!
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