Welcome to my Movie Blog!

Hi, I'm Tony, a.k.a. The Non Roger Ebert (R.I.P., Roger!), and welcome to my movie blog. First, let me start out by saying that this WON'T be any ordinary movie blog as I'll be reviewing movies you've probably heard of before or probably never thought about watching. Yes, I will review the occasional "mainstream" film (mostly to slam it!) and I'll be reviewing films both past and present (mostly past since I think most films released nowadays suck canal water!). I also won't be using any star ratings or thumbs up or thumbs down or anything like that since if you CAN'T figure out how much I love or loathe a film by my movie reviews alone then you're a dumb mofo, please exit the site NOW!!!! Along with the movie reviews will be commentaries on various celebrities and/or the so-called "entertainment" business in general. Enjoy!



Thursday, October 18, 2012

AN ODE TO THE LORD OF THE RINGS

 
 
 
Here's the "plot" to the Lord Of The Rings trilogy in a nutshell: Two Vulcan-looking midgets, uh, I mean, dwarfs go traipsing through the woods carrying this "magic" ring being led by a walking/talking turd-man who talks like a raspy-sounding Yoda and a "gay" wizard--well, at least the actor playing him is gay!--who looks suspiciously like the wizard in those Harry Potter movies. Of course, the entire movie--and the rather pretentious book series it's based upon--could've been over in about a few minutes if the two Vulcan-looking midgets, uh, I mean, dwarfs would've just flew in on those damn big-ass birds they flew in on at the end of the third friggin' LOTR movie to drop off said "magic" ring in that damned volcano or whatever the hell it was! Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go watch the Star Wars prequels again!

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