Since I've already given a "special FU" to such "liberal" Hollywood celebrities like Alec Baldwin and Will Smith, I figured I'd offer the same "special FU" to their "conservative" counterparts Clint Eastwood and Chuck Norris. First, let's talk about Clint Eastwood. With his recent crazy-ass speech at the Republican National Convention, Clint went from a once-beloved Hollywood icon to a Tea Party ass-kissing moron ala Michelle Bachmann and Herman Cain. What was perhaps most astonishing about his "speech" was not its craziness but the sheer ignorance of it; like, for instance, when he said how we didn't "need" any lawyers in the White House (even though about half of our Presidents have been--wait for it!--lawyers and even Mitt Romney has a law degree from Harvard) and saying to the empty chair he was "pretending" to be Barack Obama how he started the "war" in Afghanistan (even though it was Obama's predecessor George W. Bush who, of course, started said Afghani "war"). Some, of course, accused Clint of having a "senior moment" but, judging from his disheveled appearance, I'd say he was having more of a Miller moment, if you know what I mean! Frankly, I think he made that crazy-ass speech because he was assailed by the right-wing (Fox [Non] News, are you listening?) for doing that car ad some months before in which the "right" accused him of being in the tank for Obama (Google it if you don't remember it). Needless to say, apart from the loony-ass Tea Party crowd who usually eat this shit up, the speech seriously backfired on him. Someone should've reminded Dirty Harry that TRUE tough guys DON'T bend over for ANYBODY! Now let's talk about Chuck Norris, shall we? Just a day or two after Clint's crazy-ass RNC speech, Chuck apparently tried to one-up Clint in the batshit crazy Tea Party ass-kissing category by releasing a video with his wife implying how if we "reelect" Obama there'll be a thousand years of socialistic darkness or some such crazy-ass Tea Party ass-kissing shit. But I think that pales in comparison to when Chuck Norris actually stated how, if Obamacare were around when the Virgin Mary became pregnant with the Baby Jesus, she would have more than likely--and, no, I'm NOT making this up!--aborted it. Sexist AND blasphemous! I actually used to be a major fan of both Clint & Chuck and, while I'm still a fan of their work (or most of it anyway!), their public persona--at least their recent public persona--not so much. The bottom line is, I don't--I repeat--DON'T need celebrities, regardless of their political affiliation, to tell me what to think, who to "vote" for, etc., etc., etc. As for Clint Eastwood "pretending" to talk to an empty chair like Obama was actually sitting in it, at least Stephen Colbert had the--dare I say it!--balls to actually roast George W. Bush to the man's face (again, Google it if you don't recall it!). As for Chuck Norris, I used to be a major fan of his until he came out with that asinine Walker, Texas Ranger. I prefer the Texas Ranger he played in the earlier-reviewed Lone Wolf McQuade. And, for all you Chuck Norris fans out there, here's a Chuck Norris "fact" for ya: BRUCE LEE KICKED HIS ASS!!!! A sidenote: One more thing about Clint Eastwood's possible motivation for, uh-hum, speaking at the RNC: He just happened to have a new movie coming out when he made said, uh-hum, speech (but I'm sure this had absolutely NOTHING to do with his "decision" to speak at the RNC!). It's also funny how he failed to mention that he's spoken in defense of "gay" marriage, abortion rights and has expressed his "belief" in so-called global warming, which is, of course, all things Mitt Romney has claimed NOT to "believe" in (at least since he's been running for President!). Yep, that sure is funny, ISN'T it? And, lastly, regarding Clint Eastwood's "speech" at the RNC, I can no longer watch a Clint Eastwood movie without seeing Clint talking to that stupid fucking chair (similar to how I couldn't watch a Tom Cruise flick for a long time without seeing the Scientologist D-Bag jumping up & down on Oprah's fucking couch!). Thanks a lot, Clint, you Tea Party ass-kissing PUNK!
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