Welcome to my Movie Blog!

Hi, I'm Tony, a.k.a. The Non Roger Ebert (R.I.P., Roger!), and welcome to my movie blog. First, let me start out by saying that this WON'T be any ordinary movie blog as I'll be reviewing movies you've probably heard of before or probably never thought about watching. Yes, I will review the occasional "mainstream" film (mostly to slam it!) and I'll be reviewing films both past and present (mostly past since I think most films released nowadays suck canal water!). I also won't be using any star ratings or thumbs up or thumbs down or anything like that since if you CAN'T figure out how much I love or loathe a film by my movie reviews alone then you're a dumb mofo, please exit the site NOW!!!! Along with the movie reviews will be commentaries on various celebrities and/or the so-called "entertainment" business in general. Enjoy!



Wednesday, July 18, 2012

A SPECIAL TRIBUTE TO HALLE BERRY



I could, of course, write separate reviews for different Halle Berry movies, but I figured I'd just kill a bunch of birds with one stone and write some "quickie" reviews of some of Halle Berry's best (or worst) known films. And, without any further ado, here they are:
B.A.P.S: Some movies just scream at you WTF. This is one of those films.
Swordfish: For some strange reason, the only thing I can really recall about this flick is Halle Berry's bodacious ta-tas. Go figure!
Monster's Ball: Again, I don't really recall much about this flick, of which Miss Berry won an Academy Award, save for Halle's rather intense--and rather weird-ass--sex scene with none other than Billy Bob Thornton (better known as the lucky bastard who got to bang Angelina Jolie before Brad "I'm Too Sexy For My Career!" Pitt!). Again, go figure!
Die Another Day: Halle Berry as a bikini-clad James Bond chick named Jinx. Need I say more?
Catwoman: A number of critics panned this film. But, with Halle Berry dressed in a black leather skintight catsuit, who the hell cares just how "good" the film is? Oh yeah, gay-ass MOVIE CRITICS!!!! 
Well, there you have it, a bunch of Halle Berry films in ONE review. Do I know how to "please" MY, uh-hum, loyal readers or WHAT!

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