TWILIGHT ZONE THE MOVIE

 

 

Twilight Zone The Movie is, of course, the film version of the popular classic TV show that was narrated by the late Rod Serling. In the film, the late Burgess Meredith--who had starred in some of the show's most popular episodes--does the narrating duties. The movie consists of four stories, including stories directed by such noted directors like Steven Spielberg and John Landis. The first story involves a bigot who gets a dose of his own medicine when he gets transported to different times in history when various race relations weren't at their best such as Nazi-occupied France and the Deep South back when lynchings were all the rage. (Warning: the main character in this story uses various racial epithets including The N Word.) The second story is decidedly more lighthearted as it stars the late Scatman Crothers as a rather mystical character who travels from one nursing home to another teaching the elderly residents how to stay young . . . literally. The third story involves a young boy with unusual powers who entraps people in a home of his own design and forces them to be his surrogate family--after he's, of course, disposed of his own family for "disobeying" him--until he befriends a teacher who, er, teaches him new ways to use rather than abuse his powers. The fourth story is a redoing of one of the show's most popular episodes of all-time about a rather mentally unstable man--played in the redo by John Lithgow replacing William "Capt. Kirk" Shatner in the B & W original--on a plane during a storm when he looks out the window and sees a horrible creature trying to tear apart the plane's engine. Of course, his fellow passengers and crew alike thinks he's nuts until they discover otherwise after they're forced to make an emergency landing and they see the engine all torn to pieces. The movie also features a rather interesting prologue and epilogue sequence starring Dan Aykroyd (of Ghostbusters and Saturday Night Live fame). (You'll, of course, just have to watch the flick to see what I mean by "interesting," all right?) I thought the movie was akin to the Stephen King flick Creepshow, though I found it not as good. Still, it's a decent enough flick to pass the time with. It should especially appeal to diehard--and maybe not-as-diehard--fans of the original TV show. A sidenote: This film drew some controversy for the deaths of actor Vic Morrow--who starred as the bigot in the movie's first story--and two Asian child actors during a horrific accident involving a helicopter stunt and some heavy pyrotechnics. What made the deaths all the more horrific was that their deaths were actually caught on-camera by about three or four different angles. It turns out the producers of the film reportedly paid the child actors under the table, so to speak, to get around certain child labor laws of the time. It probably goes without saying that said producers of the film got their asses sued by the children's families until said producers were finally found a decade later not guilty of manslaughter. It also probably goes without saying that future film producers became less likely to pull this kind of irresponsible crap on future films (for, I feel, for obvious reasons).   

ZERO DARK THIRTY

Have you ever seen a movie advertised on TV and you think there's no way in hell you would EVER pay to go see it? Zero Dark Thirty is one of those films for me. The film gives a "fictionalized" account of the "search" and "killing" of Osama bin Laden. The movie was directed by director Kathryn Bigelow who, as you probably already know, won an Oscar for Best Picture for her other "war" film The Hurt Locker. Going back to why I won't watch this movie, judging from what I've already heard about this flick, it sounds like a Republican's wet dream as it reportedly "glamorizes" so-called enhanced interrogation techniques, i.e. TORTURE. The problem with this is that, according to "official" reports on how bin Laden was "captured" and "killed" and whatnot, there was very little if any "torture" involved in "finding" Osama. In fact, the movie is apparently so rife with errors that even the higher-ups at the CIA issued a press release denouncing the "inaccuracy" of the film. Bigelow and the film's producers have responded by saying how this is more or less just a movie, yet they insist how they used--that's right!--"official" accounts of bin Laden's execution. So which is it? Is it a "realistic" portrayal of Osama's "capture"  and "killing" or is it just merely entertainment? Whatever this film is actually supposed to be, I feel that I would be too tempted to call "Bullshit!" while watching it, you know what I mean? Now, if you'll excuse me, I believe I'll just watch Kathryn Bigelow's other previously-reviewed "action" flick Point Break starring the late Patrick Swayze and--ugh!--Keanu Reeves, thank you very much! A sidenote: While I don't mean to sound like a diehard conspiracy theorist here, I frankly don't believe the "official" account of bin Laden's "capture" and subsequent killing. If you'd like to see at least part of the reason why, take a gander at the following YouTube clip I found a while back where former Vice-President--and "rumored" actual President--Dick Cheney admits . . . well, I'll just let you watch it and see for yourself, all right?

 



 

BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE

 

 

Bowling For Columbine is a documentary by noted controversial "liberal" filmmaker Michael Moore. The film centers around the school shooting at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado back in 1999, which was regarded as one of the worst if not the worst school shooting in American history. As you might've already figured, Moore adds his own "liberal" take to the horrifically tragic shooting and its aftermath. But, whatever one personally feels about Moore and his "work" and/or whether or not they're a fan, he does make some interesting points and/or cites some interesting statistics in the film. For instance, when people--e.g. media pundits and his fellow "liberals"--blame the "availability" of guns in the U.S. for mass shootings such as Columbine, he cites how other counties such as Canada has pretty much the same "access" to guns as this country and yet, compared to this country, Canada's violent crime rate is almost nonexistent. Also, when people--e.g. media pundits and "conservatives"--cite things like "violent" video games and so-called popular culture (remember when these people actually "blamed" goth rocker Marilyn Manson--whom Moore interviews for the film--for somehow "causing" the Columbine school shooting when it turned out the two Columbine shooters weren't even "fans" of Marilyn Manson's music?)--as the true "cause" of gun violence in America, Moore again cites how the "entertainment" in Japan is just as violent--and often even more so--than the "entertainment" people generally view in the United States and yet, compared again to this country, Japan's violent crime rate is likewise nearly nonexistent. And, also, when people cite America's "violent" history as the reason for rampant gun violence and/or violence in general in this country, Moore once again notes how other countries have had similar "violent" histories as America such as Germany (and you know about THOSE guys, right?) and, there again, their crime rates are almost nonexistent compared to America's. While he doesn't give a definitive answer as to the true cause of violence in America (but then, who the hell can?), these--and other--points that Moore makes about American violence really does make you think regardless of your political leanings. This documentary, like every other Michael Moore documentary (and pretty much whatever else MM does or says), caused some controversy. The main point-of-contention was his interview with the late actor Charlton Heston at his home towards the end of the film who was, as you probably already know, a diehard (no pun intended!) gun enthusiast and was also a member/spokesperson for the NRA (and, again, you know about THOSE guys, right?). It probably goes without saying that many--or most--right-wing pundits accused Moore--whom, of course, they weren't a major "fan" of to begin with--of "ambushing" and/or "disrespecting" the aging actor (who--as you again probably already know--walked off the interview when Michael kept pressing him on the gun issue). Quite frankly, whatever "sympathy" I might have had for Chuck dissipated when I heard him years ago rant & rave on one of those early-morning Sunday political talk shows about how "blacks" only wanted a handout and/or how "gays" wanted to show their "lifestyle" down everyone's throat (again, no pun intended!). The main problem I personally had with the film was when Moore with a few of the Columbine survivors in tow--one of whom was confined to a wheelchair as a result of his wounds suffered in the shooting (can anyone say exploitation!)--confronted the higher-ups at K-Mart where the two Columbine shooters reportedly bought their ammunition. Even to Moore's obvious surprise, their pressure "persuaded" K-Mart to stop selling ammo in their stores. Now would-be school shooters will just have to buy their ammo at--gasp!--Wal-Mart where, of course, they can likely get it CHEAPER! Way to go, Michael! A sidenote: Also interviewed for the film was Matt Stone who is one of the co-creators of the South Park TV show and who, along with co-creator Trey Parker, hail from Colorado. Apparently Stone & Parker--who, as you know, I've lampooned more than once in this blog--were none too happy about the animated short in the film called "A Brief History Of The United States" that they felt was a little too much like their beloved South Park. As a result, Stone & Parker--that's right!--lampooned Micheal Moore in their puppet movie Team America: World Police. Apparently SOME people CAN'T take what they routinely dish out, now CAN they? As for what I personally feel about "stopping" gun violence and/or violence in general in America, I think it's far, far easier to advocate banning guns and/or "violent" video games and whatnot than it is to take a long hard look at OURSELVES, you know what I mean?   

DEATH WISH

 

Death Wish is a mid-seventies film starring action flick legend the late Charles Bronson. Death Wish--and, of course, its subsequent inevitable sequels--put Bronson on the cinematic map. In the film, Bronson plays an architect named Paul Kersey who's, by all accounts, a bleeding heart "liberal" until his wife and daughter are brutally attacked in their own home by a gang of ruthless thugs (one of whom is played by Jeff Goldblum who made his cinematic debut in this flick). After his wife is murdered and his daughter is raped by said thugs, Kersey becomes a gun-toting vigilante. Even though the man-seeking-bloody-vengeance theme has been mined to death (no pun intended!) in movies before and since the release of Death Wish, what sets Death Wish apart from some--or most--of those other films is that the results of violence are more, shall we say, pronounced than in those other films. For instance, unlike some--or most--of those other "revenge" flicks where the vigilante automatically turns into a bloodthirsty killer after they suffer their horrific tragedy, Charles's Kersey's character seemingly has problems, at least initially so, when he goes out in search of, for lack of a better word, victim; like, for instance, he hesitates when someone tries to mug him. And then, when he finally does shoot said mugger, he goes home and throws up in the toilet. However, he soon gets over his initial queasiness (of course!) and starts hunting down baddies with gusto! I, of course, won't tell you how it ends (even though it's quite obvious Charles's character survives to "star" in the four--count 'em!--FOUR sequels) except to say that Kersey doesn't get to exact his revenge on the thugs who destroyed his family (and, FYI, he doesn't get to exact revenge on said thugs in any of the sequels either, so, no, we don't get to see Charles Bronson blow the head off Jeff Goldblum, damn it!). A sidenote: This movie, as you can probably imagine, drew considerable controversy when it was released as it no doubt would were it released today (especially in the wake of all these tragically recent senseless mass shootings). Many film critics chastised the film for its excessive use of violence. Of course, these were the same film critics who praised other notable violent movies like The Godfather (remember the scene with the horse's head planted in the mobster's bed?). Go figure!

NEXT OF KIN

 

 

Next Of Kin is one of the late Patrick Swayze's lesser-known action flicks. Released in 1989 (and was released after his megahit "classic" flick Ghost), it co-stars Liam Neeson (yes, THAT Liam Neeson!). In the film, Patrick and Liam play--wait for it!--hillbilly brothers straight from the hills of Kentucky. Patrick's character has left said hillbilly hills of Kentucky to become a big city cop in--gasp!--Chicago while Liam's character stays behind in Kentucky to do whatever the hell hillbillies tend to do. Anyway, Patrick's character is estranged from said hillbilly family because they're apparently offended that he left the hillbilly clan and dared went to the big city. Anyway, the family is brought back together when their brother is murdered while working in Chicago at Patrick's character's request after he loses his job at--where else!--Kentucky coal mines by some crazed mobster. To make a long story short, after Liam's character is killed while pulling a Batman--or the hillbilly version thereof!--on the mobsters who killed his brother, Patrick's character quits his job as a big city cop and exacts revenge with his hillbilly clan against the mobsters in--again, wait for it!--a darkened cemetery. I, of course, won't tell you how the "battle" ends--though, of course, you could probably already figure it out for yourself--but, as Roger Ebert himself once noted about this flick during his initial review of this film, how in the world could a major "battle" in a Chicago cemetery NOT draw the attention of the police? Anyway, while Next Of Kin is certainly not the greatest Patrick Swayze flick ever (he even won a "Razzie" for Worst Actor for this role along with his role as a "freelance bouncer" in his arguably better action flick Road House), it is still an entertaining enough of a film--in spite of its B-movie schlocky-type feel and its hilarious caricatures of not only hillbillies but of Italians as well!--to pass the time if you don't have anything better to do. Not only that, but watching otherwise proper Irish actor Liam Neeson trying to tackle a hillbilly accent is a hoot! Oh yeah, this movie also stars Helen Hunt as Patrick's character's non-hillbilly wife, for anyone who is interested!

A CHRISTMAS STORY

 

A Christmas Story is an early-eighties "holiday" flick that has since gone on to be one of the most popular Christmas flicks of all-time. To be honest, and I know I might incur the wrath of those that seemingly worship this flick by saying this, I'm not too big a fan of this particular Christmas flick. But, then again, I'm not too big of a fan of Christmas flicks in general (Scrooge a.k.a. A Christmas Carol and Santa's Slay notwithstanding!). Anyway, for those few of you who haven't caught the 24-hour-a-day reruns of A Christmas Story on cable on Christmas Eve and/or Christmas, the movie is about a young boy named "Ralphie" and his rather eccentric family around Christmastime who desperately wants a certain BB gun from Santa Claus. Of course, Ralphie is bummed when everyone tells him, including the store Santa he encounters in one of the film's most famous scenes, he can't have said BB gun since he'll poke his eye out if he gets his coveted BB gun (which--spoiler alert!--happens when he does in fact get his beloved BB gun on Christmas morning from his dear old dad). That's pretty much the film, though, for some reason, there are those who have really latched onto this particular Christmas flick (like, for instance, I read a story about one guy who was apparently so smitten with this flick that he actually bought the actual house where the film was actually filmed). Again, I can't see what the big deal is about this particular film. I mean, it's an entertaining little film (my own personal favorite scene is when the father receives that rather kinky-looking "leg lamp" that seemingly attracts the attention of the entire neighborhood when he lights it up much to the obvious chagrin of his wife) but that's about all I really think about it. Actually, when this flick came out, it was a minor box office hit at best. It wasn't until years later thanks to constant reruns and/or home video the movie has taken on a life of its own and has been included a number of top ten favorite Christmas flicks of all-time lists sort of like that other "favorite" Christmas flick the Jimmy Stewart "classic" It's A Wonderful Life which was also a box office dud when it was released until it later became a "holiday classic" thanks to TV reruns and/or home vid. And, just so you know, if I had to choose between the two films, I'd pick A Christmas Story over It's A Wonderful flippin' Life anytime (and, again, I know I might incur the wrath of people who "love" IAWF, but, screw it, this is MY movie review blog!). I tell ya, I tried watching THAT flick and I felt like jumping off a damned bridge! A sidenote: The creators of South Park--who, as you probably know, I've taken a swipe or two at in this blog (reread my review of their cinematic crap-fest of a flick BASEketball)--once stated how much they were "influenced" by this flick in their creation of their popular show South Park. I'll let you decide if that a good thing or a bad thing, alright?

HEAVEN'S PRISONERS

 

This movie is about . . . well, to tell the truth, the REAL reason to watch this flick is for the scene where Teri Hatcher (of Desperate Housewives and Superman fame) pulls an Amanda Peet and appears starkers atop a balcony. There's also another scene where Teri flashes her bra to--gag!--Alec Baldwin (otherwise known as the D-Bag who told his very own daughter off on the phone by calling her a, and I quote, "thoughtless little pig" and warned his beloved little girl how he was going to--and, again, I quote--"straighten your ass out" the next time he saw her, but I digress).